My friend from Steve responded to my post of bad jokes with a few of his own. I particularly remember the seventy six joke from when we worked together in New Jersey. In fact, I heard that one multiple times and still get a grin and chuckle today. Thanks Steve!
A man burst into a doctor’s examining room and shouted, "Doc, you gotta help me. I’m shrinking!" The doctor replied, "Sir, go back and sit down in the waiting room and wait your turn. You’ll just have to be a little patient."
A bum tried to sneak onto an ocean liner and hide until launch, but a ship’s officer caught him and took him back off the ship. As they walked down to the dock, the officer explained, "You have to understand, beggars can’t be cruisers."
Groucho: "Are you married? Are you rich? Answer the second question first."
Groucho (As auctioneer): "Seventy-five, seventy-five, seventy-five. Will someone give me seventy-six?"
Bidder: "Seventy-six."
Groucho: "That’s the spirit!”
Gomez Addams: "What are doing with that net, Lurch?"
Lurch: "Caught a pterodactyl."
Gomez: "That’s no pterodactyl, Lurch. That’s my mother-in-law!"
A man burst into a doctor’s examining room and shouted, "Doc, you gotta help me. I’m shrinking!" The doctor replied, "Sir, go back and sit down in the waiting room and wait your turn. You’ll just have to be a little patient."
A bum tried to sneak onto an ocean liner and hide until launch, but a ship’s officer caught him and took him back off the ship. As they walked down to the dock, the officer explained, "You have to understand, beggars can’t be cruisers."
Groucho: "Are you married? Are you rich? Answer the second question first."
Groucho (As auctioneer): "Seventy-five, seventy-five, seventy-five. Will someone give me seventy-six?"
Bidder: "Seventy-six."
Groucho: "That’s the spirit!”
Gomez Addams: "What are doing with that net, Lurch?"
Lurch: "Caught a pterodactyl."
Gomez: "That’s no pterodactyl, Lurch. That’s my mother-in-law!"
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