Monday, September 18, 2006

Out, damned spot! Out, I say!

My apologies to Mr. Shakespeare for the title of this post!

Through much effort I have managed to suppress much of the feelings for my x-Wife from my conscious mind. It's rough, because of whatever had happened between us I still do love her as much as the day I married her. And, sadly (for me anyway!), I still miss her a lot.

Anyway, the subconscious mind is worse! It's very distressing (well, when I wake up anyway! 99% of the dreams I have with her in them are nice dreams of us being together and doing things like going on vacation, having dinner, a trip to the mall, a walk in the park.......

Well, last night it crossed a new threshold.....I was having a great dream of the five us being at the lake on a sunny day. I awoke, and went into work and my brother in law asked me how I was getting along dealing with the divorce. Did I still miss the X? I mentioned how I had just had a dream with the X in it last night, and I was still dreaming about her, missing her, and still loved her, and how distressing this was for me.

THEN I WOKE UP AGAIN! My former brother in law had actually worked for me back in New Jersey, but that was about 8 to 10 years ago. This was the dreaded 'dream within a dream' scenario I have heard about and seen on TV numerous times. Sigh! It was most distressing.

Unrequited love is the worst love of all!

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