Friday, August 28, 2009

Falling off the Diet Wagon
with a Bacon Double Cheeseburger :(

I admit it!!! I was weak, and defeated by this tasty creation!!

Last night both kids were out with friends, and I decided to take a walk around 7 PM. Since I'm doing 90 minutes on the exercise bike minimum each day I found I had quite the capacity for distance and was soon over four miles from my house.

It was a glorious evening for a walk and I was enjoying music from my phone and was glad I had remembered to bring a pair of ear buds.

I soon realized that I had not thought this jaunt through as I found myself down on Patterson Ave. The problem was I found myself exceedingly thirsty! Realizing the long walk home would take me no place a beverage could be obtained until I was practically home I looked around.

There was a small bar nearby, one of my friends had mentioned this place at work a few years back, but not being able to consume alcohol because of one of my meds I never had any interest in checking it out. Fortunately I had my wallet and some money with me so I went inside. I was thinking I could at least get a diet soda to slake my thirst and then walk the hour or so it would take me to get back home.

With my decision made, I went inside. It was a nice enough little bar as bars go, and after I sat down and ordered a soda. I began conversing with Jim the bartender who told me it was an excellent way for the microbrewery that was the mainstay of the establishment to both test their new brews and get the word out on the street about their regular concoctions. Fortunately for me the place was not heavily occupied and no one was smoking. I really abhor second hand smoke!

As I awaited my beverage a delicious aroma hit my nose! I knew in an instant it was beef being fried. I looked upwards and saw a poster on the wall proclaiming this was the home of the best Bacon Double Cheeseburger in Michigan; the RJ Burger!! It took a few moments but I then realized I had seen this place on an episode of one of the many food related shows I watch on the food network. I asked Jim and he concurred. I had told my daughter Danielle when we saw that episode we would have to visit this place one day, and here I was!

The burger in question was made with two half pound patties of the finest quality beef (several cuts in fact mixed in proportions and seasoned with spices they would not divulge according to the poster on the wall) and was topped with sharp Cheddar and Swiss cheeses,. Adding to the glory of this masterpiece was six thick crisp slices of black peppered bacon and a light slathering of their own special Cajun BBQ sauce. It was served on a sesame seed roll which they baked fresh each day.

At that moment the door to the kitchen swung open with a bang! and the waitress (Sally her name based on the name tag she was sporting) came out carrying my soda and one of the burgers for someone down at the end of the bar.

I could not believe the delicious aroma wafting my way from this creation! My mouth was watering and I realized I was famished in spite of the hot dogs I had consumed a couple of hours earlier!! Jim walked over and mentioned I looked hungry and asked did I want to try an RJ burger?

Knowing that Sunday would make 19 weeks on my diet I knew I should not! Particularly since I was planning on eating out on my birthday on Labor Day.

I told Jim couldn't, stretching the truth by stating I barely had enough cash in my wallet for the drink and a tip. I did mention though that I certainly planned on coming back and trying one with my daughter sometime down the road now that I knew about it.

At that moment a beeper went off and a couple of stools down the bar from me a man jumped up and ran out without a backwards glance. Jim told me that he was a doctor and was probably heading off to the hospital.

The kitchen door again banged open and Sally appeared with an RJ burger. "Jim," she said, "This was for Pete and he just ran out on a page, he's not going to be back this evening. You hungry?"

Jim declined stating he had just had just eaten prior to coming on shift. "Well, I can't eat this thing!" she exclaimed, "You know I'm watching my girlish figure!" All I could think of after that statement was that every male patron in the place was, except for me, sadly, who was more fixated on the burger she was carrying than herself!

Jim looked in my direction and stated "This dude mentioned he wanted to try one, and since we're just going to throw it out, let him have it." I raised my hands and started to protest, but he simply stated "Oh, it's on the house of course!"

Sally smiled and placed the RJ burger on the bar in front of me and returned to the kitchen. A door banging moment later she was back with a hot platter of crispy french fries explaining they were part of Pete's order too. She plunked them down along with a bottle of ketchup.

I did not know what to do!!! I was SO hungry and here I was being given this excellent repast on the house! The aromas wafting up from the burger and fries were fantastic! I wanted to be strong, I really did, but now I know what the words 'feeding frenzy' truly mean! I felt control slipping away! Perhaps this was a sign that it was OK to eat it!

As if watching this third person I saw my hands, almost of their own volition, move out and grasp the RJ burger firmly in their clutches! They picked the burger up, and brought it towards me.

I could not help myself at this point! I knew I would be breaking my diet, all that hard work out the window! So many thoughts were running in my head, such as yesterday earlier in the day Danielle and I were looking at some pictures of this past Christmas. There is a shot of me by the kitchen sink, and I was HUGE in it! She mentioned how much weight I lost and I agreed and I started at that picture just totally in sock about how grossly fat I was! I had jokingly made the comment that my butt was still in the other room as my stomach reached the kitchen sink!

But, at this point I just did not care! The smell of the burger driving me crazy and my stomach rumbling loudly I was not to be denied! So, with burger firmly in hand, melted cheese dripping down the sides of it I opened my mouth wide for that first bite that I sensed would be incredibly delicious!!! The great hunger was finally going to be appeased! I brought the burger up to my lips and

I woke up. I was so ticked off! I could not believe that I could not stay asleep at least long enough for that first bite! I was also surprised. I had not been dreaming of food like that for awhile now, though the first two months of the diet it seemed like I did almost every night.

Shame on you for those who did not realize this was a dream! :) While I have been tempted quite a few times on this diet, I have stuck with it. It was quite a vivid dream, and I really wish I could have eaten the burger and then woken up!


Barry said...

ARGGHHHHH!!! You sure you don't want to leave your computer job and go into writing?! So real, so 'truthful'! Doctor gets beeped and has to leave before eating; order comes out -- what are they going to do with it? Perfectly logical to give it away.

David Louis Harter said...


I knew it to be a dream! It was a dream well told!

- David

Chris said...

Barry and David, based on the many comments I got on Facebook (my blog is imported there automatically) I fooled quite a few people. Of everyone I know who reads me ramblings I figured David would not be fooled. I'm guessing by Barry's reply he bought it.