I hate September 28th

This is, and always will be a crappy day of the year for me. It's the anniversary of my Mom's passing and my former Wedding Anniversary, in fact my mom died on our first anniversary. That put a stigma on the day while I was still married. Now at least that's not an issue.

I managed to do my exercise bike ride, and went to the store to get the ingredients for dinner. Just me and Tails, the kids are at their Mom's this weekend.

Tails and I are weathering the day as best we can. I just started pre-heating the oven for dinner, if this recipe works out well it will be posted tomorrow.

Sigh....I really hate this day of the year......... It's even worse this year with my dad gone. I know many people are without their parents, but, it takes some getting used to.

Dreams can really, really, suck!

It's actually been at least a few weeks since I had one of those happy dreams where the X and I are still married and the kids are all with us. I was having them at least once a week up until this year.

I had one last evening where we driving around vacationing with friends and family. It (seemed to be) a lengthy dream visiting many people in multiple locations including friends and family I knew and some I did not (my dream visions of some of the X's many friends I never met I reckon).

It was such a good feeling, and in these dreams I do not realize I am divorced and it was just how I imagine I would like life to be when I am awake and pondering this issue.

So, needless to say when I awoke this morning hours before work I was filled with a great sadness, a sense of loss, and the melancholy feelings of "what might have been". I hope it is many weeks again and longer still before I have another one of these dreams! As enjoyable as they are I feel very bad feelings-wise right now.

Oh well, at least I had going to work to cheer me up and more snow on the horizon! Whoo Hooo!

Laissez Les Bon Temps Roulez!!!!

Super Freaking Bad Mood

Well, it is that day of the year I love to hate, that day, if, I had my choice I would stay home alone!

September 28th, both my Wedding Anniversary (meaningless since the divorce) and the anniversary of my Mom's passing away. She died on my first Wedding anniversary.

I miss my mom though it's now been 20 years she's gone. And I still miss the X, though I must admit this year I do not feel quite as bad, and I have no desire to post a picture of us or her as I have done in the past and lament about lost love. It's her loss, and perhaps one day she will realize this.

And, as if the above was not enough to bring down my day, Scott's voice is having problems again and his throat hurts when he speaks.

Needless to say my mood is very BLACK today!!

Sigh!