My Friend Suresh

I had a surprising phone call earlier in the week from an old friend back east. I have not talked with him in ages. We chatted about my nightmare job and lackluster life, how his job was doing (he had just passed his CISSP exam. CISSP, or the certified information systems security professional, is one of the toughest IT examinations to pass. Having that certification is most impressive!) We talked about the past, how his lovely wife Indu and their baby girl was doing, and more. I was very happy for him, and yet I must admit, a bit envious too. I imparted my usual post-divorce advice to communicate with his wife and never keep bad feelings to yourself about the relationship instead of sharing them with each other. After all, what good is discussing your problems with a multitude of other people while excluding your spouse and family?

I first met Suresh years ago (around 20+ or so years ago!) when we were both working at the same company back in New Jersey. I was working for the Engineering Computer Facility and he for Management Information Systems. He had a small one room dwelling nearby. We became fast friends. Suresh either loved or was tolerant of my warped sense of humor, indeed, being Indian, my fake Indian accent did not bother him, or, if it did, he left me live and I thank him for that! We both loved Science Fiction and Technology. He turned me on to James Axler's Deathalnd series of books which I still buy and read this day. In fact, I can't pick one up without thinking of him.

The years passed, I remember the weekend I helped him move out of that apartment to go live back in New York. The Engineering Computer Facility, and Management Information Systems merged into one IT department that I ended up managing. Down the road came a very sad day as Suresh left and took a job in New York.

He still worked for me part time, and along with him and my former brother in law (who I still consider a friend and part of my family and hope he feels the same) they became the 'dogs' of the IT department. "Bad Dog!" I would chide if one was late. This usually resulted in a torrent of barking and often when they were around the corner working I could hear periodic boughts of barking and laughter

Suresh would often bring in Indian food his mother had made on the weekends we worked and we would have that for lunch. I think sometimes he did it simply because he knew how much I enjoyed it.

Time continued to march on.....I got married....he got married... we had kids and the kids grew older slowly. Before their first child arrived we met in Florida one year for vacation, one of the best vacations ever! We were so close with them over the years that the kids grew up calling them Uncle Suresh and Aunt Indu, and a better Aunt and Uncle the kids could not have asked for, blood relations or not! And Indu, Danielle still asks when she will see Aunt Indu again...so you know she loves you!

Suresh used to bring me spices from New York, and I remember making batches of spicy popcorn and Christopher would always be saying "Don't forgot the spicy chili powder Uncle Suresh sent!" He would also bring me a spicy snack called chukli, which is crunchy and looks like it was extruded from a play dough set. I love it though the play dough probably has more nutritional value!

Time continued to march on, my company decided to close down the New Jersey Locations, and we moved to Michigan. Suresh came for a quick visit in MI as his business had taken him to Detroit I believe. Suresh and Indu had their first child. Work became hectic, I saddened with the continued pressures and uncertainty, the soon to be X wife became disenchanted with me. The divorce and associated turmoil, particularly for myself and the three kids who were stunned by the X's wanting it....and still life marches on. I got the occasional e-mail from Suresh and Indu; after all they were busy starting their family, I was far away, and his job, like mine had turned so hectic and full of pressure. Sometimes months would go by without a direct mail between us.

Anyway, as I sat talking with him this week, these thoughts and many others flew through my head, and I realized once again how much affection I had for him and his wife, and how glad I was to hear from him and have friends like him. I truly value their friendship; have so few friends in the real world...it is good to be reminded to cherish them. Thanks Pal, for taking the time to give me a call. It made my day! Actually, it made my year! Give the girls a hug from me, and keep in touch when you can. I really miss you guys.

Take care!