Saturday, March 14, 2009

Saturday Morning here in West Michigan

Another Sunny Day in West Michigan! It is gloriously sunny with clear and bright blue skies this morning!

After staying up late on the computer until about 2 AM some automated service called around 8AM, which woke me out of a deep peaceful slumber.....

They were looking for someone whose name of many syllables I had no hope in hell of pronouncing. There was a number you could call if that person did not live where they called. It was a number I had called before......so...I called again....perhaps for the third or fourth time over a few months.

Unlike the previous calls, where I got someone whose accent was so think you could cut it with a steak knife, I actually got someone who spoke unaccented English! I politely explained to this person how this was not the first time I was called about someone whose name of many syllables I had no hope in hell of pronouncing, and would they please take note that based on the previous owner's residency in this house followed by mine that someone whose name of many syllables I had no hope in hell of pronouncing had not lived here at least for the past 40 years, nor did I ever expect that someone whose name of many syllables I had no hope in hell of pronouncing would ever be living here.

This person said he did not know how my number got back in the system and he would insure that someone whose name of many syllables I had no hope in hell of pronouncing would be sought at my number again.

I countered with I did not know either how my number got back in the system but obviously their company was simply behind the times and was not availing themselves of the latest technology, which was inexpensive, free in many cases in fact, and it would be a boon to a company such as his trying to locate people.

I told him that here in Michigan we had a marvelous invention and perhaps they had it where he was too. It could easily, and in a matter of seconds show that my number was not owned by someone whose name of many syllables I had no hope in hell of pronouncing.

He sounded intrigued so I told him "It's called a phone book." I then went on to inform him that MY easily pronounceable name of very few syllables is shown there, and, as I am in many online systems, if they had heard of the invention called the KOM-PU-TER (I had to sound out the syllables as the poor gentleman sounded very confused when I described the miraculous phone book which was an analog device, how could he possibly know about electronic ones?) he would have found no record of someone whose name of many syllables I had no hope in hell of pronouncing living at my address.

I then, in what my daughter Danielle called my scary quiet voice, informed this person that I had utilized another free on-line service called a reverse look up of their phone number and I knew who they were in spite of their name not showing up on my caller ID. If this happened again, I promised him, I would contact the attorney general and Better Business Bureau of their state and lodge a formal complaint.

I then remembered to thank this person for waking me up on my day off, wished him well, and good luck on his search for someone whose name of many syllables I had no hope in hell of pronouncing, and hung up the phone.

So, in spite of the Miracle of Miracles when Scott when out for his SATs at 7:20 AM he did NOT awaken me, he was quiet as a mouse in fact, Murphy had to have been watching and decided I needed to be up!.

I tell you this tale not to complain, but, I hope as an amusement to you, perhaps it gave you a slight smile or chuckle when you read it.. Perhaps it even brightened your morning a bit.

ANYWAY, it is quiet as Danielle still sleeps and I putter on the CC (How does one putter on a PC you may muse) it is time to end this tale as I prepare for the morning's exercise bike ride.

5 comments:

Unknown said...

Chris,

I am pleased to see how greatly your patience has improved as a result of following my example!

- David

Blandishment Blog said...

David, my biggest annoyance is being woken from a peaceful sleep (particularly one where I was dreaming of the star of Saving Grace!). I was very polite I thought.

Unknown said...

Chris,

You were very polite!

- David

Blandishment Blog said...

David - While I was somewhat facetious with the gentleman, I was very polite, particularly after having previously called multiple times trying to get them to halt these intrusions!

Unknown said...

Chris,

You did very well indeed!

- David