A very somber today which started with a clear blue sky and sunshine. Around 9:30 AM the exodus from work began to head for the funeral of the woman who died this week from where I work. It was over an hours drive out into the country which reflected the somber mood; empty lifeless fields, trees with no leaves, barren farmland, a gray pastel of a landscape.
We arrived at the Catholic church where the funeral mass was to be. It was packed. Literally standing room only. As I had mentioned this woman, and her husband, who also works where are work, are the traditional stereotype of "Good People". The priest speak an incredible thought provoking eulogy, stating among other things that Easter was already here for this woman, who would be resurrected with the Lord.
The husband, too emotionally wrought to speak, had a close friend read a letter he wrote, summarizing their lives together. A typical heart warming almost storyboard tale of two people who met in high school. His wife knew, his letter said, the first time she saw him that they were destined to be together. The broke up in senior year and were apart for a few years, though she kept tabs on him through his brother, and they met again when he went to the hospital to visit his Dad. They were married that fall, and lived in a small trailer on a 10 acre farm. Their love grew, they persevered, and over the years increased the size of their farm and had three children. Their marriage was not perfect, that had their problems together, but they managed to work through them and felt that their marriage, their love, their family were stronger than ever. The last three years she spent courageously fighting cancer, and she literally died in his arms earlier this week. The funeral mass was in the same church they had been married in back in the late 80's,.
There was not a dry eye in that overcrowded church, and his words made me cry...I felt his sense of loss, and hoped he and his family took comfort in the service, and the priests words that she was now with god, and with them in spirit.
I also envied the love this couple had had. Their love was strong enough to get them through their marital problems.. The love my x-wife and I had evidently failed this test. I kept thinking over the remainder of the afternoon after the body was interred, could I have done things better in my marriage to make it survive. I am sure my X and I could have. I took comfort in the fact that I still had my love for her, which has not diminished, and I have three fine children. I still miss my X, each and every day. I would have thought after two years this would have diminished. It was though, after all was said and done, a very somber day.
We arrived at the Catholic church where the funeral mass was to be. It was packed. Literally standing room only. As I had mentioned this woman, and her husband, who also works where are work, are the traditional stereotype of "Good People". The priest speak an incredible thought provoking eulogy, stating among other things that Easter was already here for this woman, who would be resurrected with the Lord.
The husband, too emotionally wrought to speak, had a close friend read a letter he wrote, summarizing their lives together. A typical heart warming almost storyboard tale of two people who met in high school. His wife knew, his letter said, the first time she saw him that they were destined to be together. The broke up in senior year and were apart for a few years, though she kept tabs on him through his brother, and they met again when he went to the hospital to visit his Dad. They were married that fall, and lived in a small trailer on a 10 acre farm. Their love grew, they persevered, and over the years increased the size of their farm and had three children. Their marriage was not perfect, that had their problems together, but they managed to work through them and felt that their marriage, their love, their family were stronger than ever. The last three years she spent courageously fighting cancer, and she literally died in his arms earlier this week. The funeral mass was in the same church they had been married in back in the late 80's,.
There was not a dry eye in that overcrowded church, and his words made me cry...I felt his sense of loss, and hoped he and his family took comfort in the service, and the priests words that she was now with god, and with them in spirit.
I also envied the love this couple had had. Their love was strong enough to get them through their marital problems.. The love my x-wife and I had evidently failed this test. I kept thinking over the remainder of the afternoon after the body was interred, could I have done things better in my marriage to make it survive. I am sure my X and I could have. I took comfort in the fact that I still had my love for her, which has not diminished, and I have three fine children. I still miss my X, each and every day. I would have thought after two years this would have diminished. It was though, after all was said and done, a very somber day.
2 comments:
(snivvel) wow, thats so sad :(
It was sad, moving, inspirational, and really made me sad my X and I could not work things out. She would not even go through the 8 session of marriage counseling the therapist suggested, deciding after two she had had enough. We had issues, we were both at fault, but I would have at least like to have gone a bit further to try and make things works. Particularly for the kids sake. If I could just fall out of love with her I think I would be in much better shape.
Ah well, life goes on and I do to...day by lousy day! Though weekends like this when I have the kids are pretty dang good!
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